Well, I was hoping I would be able to tell you about my new Slip-on Chucks I ordered from Zappos when they arrived next Tuesday, but they’ve been sent BACK IN TIME!. I got an email the same day I ordered saying they had upgraded my free shipping so I would get my shoes faster and from the tracking number it looks like I would have gotten my shoes back in January if I lived in Stafford, Texas. Gladly I don’t, but at least I know that my shoes will arrive at any moment since they’ve now had three months to get here. I just want to get my shoes so I can put them on and declare “Summer, I endorse you, denouncing all other seasons, you are the only season for me”.
What?!? Those lime-green pukes are the sorry-ass shoes you’ve been waiting for for the past 3 months? Brother, go to K-mart, buy some keds, rip the laces out, and spray paint ‘em green. The chicks’ll dig your ingenuity.
[There's a can of green paint somewhere in my bedroom. You're welcome to it.]